Life's Little Lessons

Back in Action...

2011-06-16T12:30:00.000-07:00

It's been a hell of a year. Scott Walker, budget cuts, loss of staff, and low morale have led to a bittersweet ending to the school year. It's interesting how many high and low points can occur in a school year. I was elected department chair this year. With it came insurmountable duties, but I feel that I worked on my leadership skills a lot. Now that it is summer, I feel that I need to get into the habit of writing again. While I won't be teaching during the summer, I will be doing some education related work. Slowly but surely, I'll get back into the swing of blogging. I feel it is my duty to myself to chronicle the progress, the good and bad times, and my over all teaching year by year. So, I'm back and going to work really hard to continue to write at least three times a week. Happy Summer to all teachers, we all need it.

Reading Workshop...

2010-03-11T13:54:00.000-08:00

I wasn't sure I could do the reading workshop/literature circle concept with my kids. Then I started to think that I could and so I went full force with it. The discussions and questions my students are asking about the books are magnificent. For the first time in years, I feel like I'm being successful. It makes me reaffirm that my students can compete with suburban or private school kids, they just need to be exposed to these types of things. As a stem from this, my 11th graders are creating a quilt to be given to veterans. Their ideas about identity and society will be incorporated into this quilt, and we will give it as a token of our thanks to those who have served us proudly in the military. I'm really proud of my kids. I don't say that enough, but I am.

Dystopia...

2010-02-04T14:19:00.000-08:00

I'm teaching a reading workshop series all focused around the idea of dystopia, with emphasis on society versus the individual. I have read 6 books related to dystopia in the past month and a half, and I feel like I have blurred reality with science fiction. In order to alleviate that feeling of the moon crashing down on us or a place where I will be always called ugly, I have started to read a book called "The Story of Edgar Sawtelle." I have only gotten 50 pages into it, but already it has me captivated, and I'm excited about not having to worry about having to be picked as a tribute to kill everyone else around me.

Entitlement...

2010-02-03T11:54:00.000-08:00

I wonder where the idea of entitlement comes from. I don't know that in my life, I have ever thought that I should have something because I am entitled to it. I truly believe my parents showed me that I had to work for most everything I got. I had to work in high school to pay for clothes I wanted. I had to study for hours to keep up with others. I had to be respectful or I would get a very large kick in the ass. On the same token, I have never expected or thought it was someone else who should pay for my meals, someone else who should make me happy, someone else who should do cartwheels, play music, even dumb down assignments so I could be successful. I also realize that sometimes people are in circumstances that do not allow them any other option than that of depending on others.

What bothers me is the idea of entitlement in all areas of life. As a teacher, it is not my job to supply cupcakes, to let students use notes on tests, or create an interactive, crackin' party every single day. So, why do so many of my students just expect that that is what is supposed to happen? And then when it does, there is no thank you, no I appreciate what you have done for me, or you really do care about us. Sometimes I feel that after seven years of teaching, I've become jaded. Don't get me wrong, I love my students, but the entitlement thing is a big point of contention for me.

Back in the Saddle...

2010-02-01T10:38:00.000-08:00

So, I went to a workshop on Saturday at UWM, and it really made me realize the importance of writing my thoughts, feelings, and memories down, so I'm going to try and write blogs more often than I have been.

The start to the new semester has been busy, but I am pleasantly content with the students that I have. Last semester was such a challenge. I had the hardest class of students I have ever had, and each day was a struggle to get through 3rd block. 3rd Block this semester is a total 180. I only have fifteen seniors in the class (by far the lowest number I've ever had), and I feel like we are going to connect and do some pretty cool things. In my American Literature class, I am trying reading workshop, and I hope it is successful. I have a student teacher that teaches my fourth block class, and it is interesting to look at teaching through her eyes. I see an over-confident, "I want to change the world" kind of attitude and wonder where did mine go...maybe I'll get it back.

There are still the situations that make me stop and think about where I come from, and how different my growing up was in comparison to the students I teach. I had a girl show me a funeral program of her baby who died last Friday. It's a hard situation, because I know how sad she was and how sad it is to lose a baby, but at the same time, I couldn't help but think, this might increase her chance of college. I don't know if that makes me a good or bad person, but it's the constant process of reflection that goes with being a teacher.

Win the Fight..

2009-11-04T13:18:00.001-08:00

I wrote, I left messages, I wrote again, I spoke with the principal, and finally I conquered. Today made day 6 of 97 degree temperatures in my classroom. Yesterday after school, I finally took the last straw and wrote an email to the principal being as calm as you can be when sweat is rolling down your lower back and cleavage, when you need a head band to contain the beads on your forehead. She pulled up in her Caddy this morning, rolled down her window, and like an angel straight from heaven told me she would talk to the engineering staff about the sweltering, blistering heat. I told her that I would be taking all of my clothes off (as would the four other teachers in my wing) if it wasn't fixed. She replied that she didn't want to be in the newspapers. I took that to mean that she would get on the situation as soon as humanly possible. And she did, it was like a baby had died in our hallway the way security guards, assistant principals, engineers, and the angel herself assessed the situation. And now you ask, how am I doing? I'm in cool bliss, riding on a cloud of cool breezes and comfort. Thank you angel for making me happy to be alive again.

Riddle...

2009-11-02T11:16:00.000-08:00

What do you get when you have 50 kids in two different classes and your room is actually, literally 97 degrees?

Yep. You guessed it. Chaos, insanity, and sweaty, smelly, complaining kids. I beg someone else to teach in these conditions; I'm getting close to being done.

Finals...Did We Learn?

2009-10-27T08:52:00.000-07:00

Well it's that special time again when we have amazing answers to essay questions. However, instead of writing about a ridiculous answer, I'm going to spotlight a student who has done absolutely nothing all semester long. His current average is a 26.7% which says nothing about his actual ability or intelligence. Well, he rocked out the test on To Kill a Mockingbird and The Freedom Writers Diary. At the end of his 5 essays, he wrote me a note, which showed me that he totally took what we learned and applied it outside the classroom. Here is his note:

p.s Ms. Lemon--In the movie "The Freedom Writers," there is a part where Erin Gruewell addresses her father as "Atticus Finch"...she means he was someone who would look out for others rights, even if it meant harm to himself, like Atticus Finch. HaHa, bet you didn't catch that Miss Lemon!!:)

A Diary Letter Back...

2009-10-21T13:26:00.000-07:00

This diary is from one my best students. I had him last year, and he wanted to take the Novels class because he likes to read...I thought it was awesome, and I want to remember it when I get down and want to cry:)

Ah. I think that this journal stuff is kinda cool now. Since I dont express myself with words alot this helps alot. I really appreciate how Ms L. isn't just any teacher who just teaches; she actually cares. The advise you gave me was almost too touching (lol) but I am thankful. I kind of discovered this about Ms. L last year. Although some may have looked at your crying as a weakness I didn't. Thats why I was so angry. Yeah I know, I'm black, and a teenager too., but I don't like to be put in categories. I walk away from ignorance like that, someone's tears shouldn't be amusing to someone else. I guess thats what gave me the up most respect for you. Knowing that a teacher cares so much. During the summer I prepared myself mentally and emotionally. I was more mature than ever, only to come into a school with a bunch of "5th graders". Dont get me wrong I admire some of my peers, cause deep down I can see their trueness inside, but I guess they're afraid to show it. Or maybe it's the major influence of negativity soaring amongst them.

The Freedom Writers Diary...

2009-10-13T13:34:00.001-07:00

In my Novels class, we have finished To Kill a Mockingbird and are now starting to read The Freedom Writers Diary. In conjunction with this reading, students are required to write their own diaries twice a week. I figured since I don't get to do it often, I would share one with you, each time they write. (I'm going to share 2 today.) This one is by N.W., the next is by D.L.

Life is frustrating, especially when Im at home. Steady arguments and disagreements with my mom and big brother. Sometimes they lead to fist fights sometimes they lead to nothing but silence. A couple of weeks ago I had to leave fro some petty bull. Told my mom that she needs tof ind a way to pay for my funeral and that I would see her in HELL. Alot of things were going through my head that day but I felt hurt. I thought why am I hear when nobody wants me. in everybodies mind im always wrong and can't ever speak my opinion about someone or somebody.
I come to school with this smile on my face, trying to cover up the real me. And sometimes, I go to the bathroom and cry in a stall because I have all this anger built up. and have no other way to let it out. And if I do let it out in the wrong way it going to be the result of someone getting hurt.
But I've been fine lately, nothing major to piss me off.

My life has been pretty easy. I dont ever have to worry about money, food, or where I'm going to stay at night. But these past couple of months haven't been easy. I'm not talking family issues, I'm talking personal stuff. Mainly because I saw one of m close friends die right in my arms. Till this day I still thnk about all the things we did together. I hear people say all the time, well it was his time or it was his fault, shouldn't have been speeding. Well me myself don't think it was his time, yea maybe if we wasn't speeding he wouldn't have crash, but still if D-Lo and Josh could survive then why couldn't he? I thought B.J. never did anything wrong, he was a great friend and kid. Why did he have to die? Which he is in a better place. Thats what keeps me going from day to day. R.I.P. B.J.

Home Ownershit...

2009-10-11T13:24:00.001-07:00

It's the weekend, I want to relax, alas, I am a new homeowner and there is new homeowner shit to be done. Here is a list of things I have accomplished today:

1. Mow lawn
2. Hang up coats in closet
3. Arrange fall/winter clothes and shows in place of spring/summer apparel
4. Use fun little spreader to fertilize lawn with "winterguard" fertilizer (it says on the bag I will have a glorious looking lawn come fall...we shall see)
5. Got hopes up about Early Spring and Late Spring fertilizer
6. Thought about going to home depot to Plastic Windows
7. Worried about amount of times furnace has gone on today
8. Spread dirt around gas-line that was washed out
9. Cleaned up mud-piles from new gate installation
10. Cleaned house

No one can tell me I'm not a good homeowner. I rock at this home-owing thing and I honestly love it more than I could have ever dreamed.

Teacher???

2009-10-09T10:56:00.000-07:00

Sometimes it's so hard to face the reality of my job. Most of the time, I can shake off the lives of my kids, the politics behind every decision that is made, or anything else that might effect my positive outlook. However, today I can't just forget or choose to ignore the lives of my students, and every time I really start to love one of them, something unexpected happens.

I have a student who has obviously been involved with the female version of the Latin Kings, she has the marking and colors of the gang. I had her twice last year. She did not attend school frequently, and was disrespectful and non-compliant. This year, I have her for two classes again, and she has completely turned over a new leaf. We have talked a lot about how her grades and attendance have improved, and she was very proud of herself and had ideas bubbling about "actually going to college".

Best part of the story over. Today, she tells me that she is pregnant, by a boy who is an alcoholic and is going to jail. Her parents do not know yet, she is three months pregnant and hasn't seen a doctor. She's become one of my favorite students, and now my hopes for her have been shattered. I know that she can put anything she sets her mind to, but having a baby just makes all her goals and aspirations that much harder. I feel like crying, and I feel like telling my parents thanks for never even putting the notion, idea, or concept in my head that I would be having a baby before high school was done.

I'm back

2009-10-04T12:40:00.000-07:00

Well, after a long time gone, I have decided to return to writing this blog. I figured with school well underway, two marriages in the works, and buying a house, it's time to get back into the swing of things.

SCHOOL--Things are crazy, but getting better. Homecoming was this weekend and as usual, the dancing was unbelievable. Who knew that Madonna's "Borderline" outfit was going to be popular with inner-city youth, but it is, and the style was out in full force last night.

MARRIAGE--I have never been in a wedding. I have never had to give a Maid of Honor speech. I've never had to be concerned about what length my hair is or how much I weigh. These are now more important than sleeping. I'm so excited for my sister and soon to be brother-in-law. I can't imagine how scared, teary-eyed, happy, and emotional I am going to be for my best friend's big day. So much is changing, but change is good. Sometimes I feel like I'm being left in the dust, but I have a new mantra, dust is good, it starts life over in new and fun ways.

HOUSE--I love everything about it. Cooking on my new stove, mowing my own lawn, having my own washer and dryer, having a backyard for the dogs. My list can go on and on, however most important out of everything is the wise, old adage Home is Where the Heart is and that is completely and absolutely true for me.

Spring Break...

2009-04-09T13:02:00.000-07:00

I'm excited for my spring break this year. I'm not doing anything exciting, I'm not going anywhere fancy, I'm not visiting any exquisite places, I'm just simply relaxing and taking in all the Milwaukee has to offer. I'm going to my parents house for the day, doing a service project on Monday, but other than that I am going to relax and do somethings that I have been meaning to do for months. I want to try some new recipes. I want to go to Discover World. I want to have beers in the afternoon. I will do all of these plus more. Besides that, after our Lock Down today, I think we all need a break from this place. For those of you who are off next week, enjoy yourselves and enjoy life.

Life's Ups and Downs...

2009-04-03T10:34:00.000-07:00

This week has been exceptionally up and down for me. We had finals this week, and as a result, I again had some pretty hilarious answers to questions. In addition, I received a 13 page paper from one of night school kids in which she said that she "was cured of Down Syndrome" and that "boys/males/men want girls for their virginals." Another example of awesomeness was in a dictated section of a test within the context of a special education classroom. The sentence dictated was Stack the raft on the roof, I repeat Stack the raft on the roof. A student, who had gotten every other dictated sentence right, wrote "Sot the fart on the roft."

The absolute downer of the week is that one of my former students hung himself yesterday morning. He was a vibrant, well-liked, well-rounded kid. He was artistic, was amazing at car detailing, and had a little tattoo business going for him with the kids in class. He always asked me if he could give me a tattoo, it's too late now, but maybe I should have let him. I pray for his family and for one teacher in particular who took this child under her wing and was like his mother. In our profession, we try every day to make a difference in our children's lives, especially for the ones who don't have much stability outside of school. My only hope is that once these students go out on their own, they can find someone who they can talk to and believe in.

Basic Rules of Employment...

2009-03-26T15:20:00.000-07:00

After six years of teaching, it has become apparent to me that most of my colleagues do not know the simply rules of continuing to be employed in our district. So, in honor of those who seem to think they are invincible, or who are just plain stupid, I have devised a list of things you should and should not do to keep your job.

1. Do not sell drugs to children.
2. Do not come to school under the influence of drugs or alcohol.
3. Do come to all meetings, people do notice when you consistently do not attend.
4. Be on time
5. Teach the subject area curriculum you are supposed to (penmanship in a high school English class is not appropriate)
6. Do not flirt with students
7. Do not tell students to Fuck off, don't tell them they are stupid, don't tell them they are animals and should be caged, etc.
8. Do not brawl in the middle of a department meeting
9. Do not yell out your personal business in an all-staff meeting
10. Do not take 3 days off every week and think that no one notices

I never realized when I started teaching that I would encounter all of these things and so much more. I always kind of idealized teachers. Through the years, however, I have found out how truly crazy some of them can be.

Shamrock Shuffle...

2009-03-25T06:45:00.000-07:00

On Sunday, I am going to do the Shamrock Shuffle in Chicago. I was worried about the weather being crappy, but it is supposed to be cloudy and cool, which is the kind of weather I like for running outside. Three years ago, I did the same race but had to run/walk it and finished in over an hour and ten minutes. I am hoping to beat this time and run the whole way this time. I want to come in under and hour, and I want to see that all of the work I have done in this past year and half has paid off. I'm doing it with my sister and her fiance. Neither one of them wants to do it now that it comes down to race day, but I am going to do it with or without them. I want to show myself that I am strong.

Sick...

2009-03-18T12:33:00.000-07:00

One would think someone of Irish descent would be sick after St. Patrick's Day because he/she drank at least 18 green beers. No one would think that someone who went to bed at 9:30 would be sick after St. Patrick's Day, but I am and I am mad about it. Oh well, at least I was smart and listened to my body and didn't make it worse. Sometimes growing older sucks.

Bowling...

2009-03-13T13:41:00.000-07:00

I went on a field trip today to the bowling alley. It was for kids who had gotten a 3.5 or better for two semesters. For those of you who know me, you know how much I hate bowling. However, today I discovered a new-found hate for the bowling alley itself. I smell like a fried, smokey bowling shoe...it's disgusting. I'm pretty sure you couldn't pay me enough to even walk inside a bowling alley let alone play a game. So for all of you who want to invite me on a bowling date, the overwhelming answer is no. Thank you.

Phrases from a Phone Call...

2009-03-12T15:09:00.001-07:00

I called my mom yesterday to see how she was doing. Her sister from Boston is in and the two of them together could get into lots of trouble. This is compounded with the fact that my dad is off of work because of shoulder surgery and is bored out of his mind. I called after night school and they were sitting at the kitchen table drinking, after having been at the casino for 5 hours. Secretly, I wish I could have been with them. As some of you know, my dad is over the top and expects to get his way no matter the situation. In my 28 years of life, there has only been two people who can continually put my dad in his place. One of these is my Aunt Peg. Here is a list of things that were said to me throughout my five minute phone conversation last night with Aunt Peg.

1. Your dad is already bugging the hell out of me and I've only seen him for 24 hours.
2. Julia, what are you think about driving back? I will be in no condition to drive after the party.
3. Oh Chris, call me if you need anything. I can make meatballs.
4. I'm going to have to tell your father to piss off very soon.
5. (speaking about my sister's fiance) Oh Dan, I could tease Dan all day long.

Irish Words and Phrases....

2009-03-11T13:34:00.000-07:00

In honor of my mother, my ancestry and the best holiday of the year, here are some Irish words and phrases for you to practice for St. Patrick's Day.

Conas atá tú ? (Sounds like conas tatu)
How are you?

Tá mé go maith. (ta may go ma)
I'm doing well.

Sláinte (slawncha)
Cheers

Póg mo thóin! (pogue ma hone)
Basically kiss my ass

álainn (awlin)
Beautiful

Go raibh maith agat (Ger a math a ga)
Thank you

ar meisce (air meshka)
Drunk

Getting Ready...

2009-03-09T11:44:00.000-07:00

My house is getting a makeover. We are having a St. Patrick's Day dinner on Saturday and the house is getting a spring cleaning of ridiculous proportions. I have been wiping walls down and tonight i am going to sweep and mop my hallway which has not been done in the 2 years I've lived at my place. I'm so excited for everyone to come and hang out. Now I need to make sure that I get enough food and drinks for everyone to have a great time. I'm so excited for the weekend!!! Everyone I love will be there.

Friday...

2009-03-06T11:31:00.000-08:00

I love Friday. It is sunny, it is warm, and it is almost the end of the work day. I got my federal refund, got retro pay on my pay check, and I can afford groceries. I'm going to Chicago tomorrow to hang out with my sister and go to a concert at the House of Blues...what could be better?

Snacking is an Addiction...

2009-03-04T15:22:00.000-08:00

Why am I hungry all of the time? I am really trying to be good, logging every single thing I eat, and I apparently at the end of the day eat like a sow. I'm happy with the fact that I had a banana, plum, carrots, tomatoes, yogurt, and other healthy snacks, but why do they count for so many calories? I'm really trying to stay away from the girl scout cookies and trail mix I love so much, but some times it is really hard. Let's pray that I can get some will power really soon or the next time you'll see me I'll have my face stuffed in a white cake with vanilla frosting and then I'll be on to a huge slice of Classic Slice pizza.

Pregnant...

2009-03-03T10:28:00.000-08:00

Boys, Men, Secretaries, Janitors, and anyone else--Please know that asking a woman if she is pregnant is not a good idea. It makes her want to kill you and then go into a bathroom stall and cry. It is especially awful when aforementioned girl has been really working hard at losing weight.

Long Time...

2009-03-02T08:58:00.000-08:00

The last month summed up...

1. Lots of meetings
2. Kid stole piggy bank, figured out who it was, ended up being one of the students I mentored, want to not like him a lot
3. Got new furniture for the apartment
4. Worked out and ate relatively healthy
5. Visited my mom for her birthday, stayed at my sister's and planned a wedding

My goals for this month...

1. Have fun with friends and family
2. Eat healthy and exercise at least 5 days/week
3. Take time to enjoy life even if things are stressful
4. Remember how to cook Irish stew
5. See at least 2 movies, take at least 3 walks, and run a 8K at the end of the month.

Field Trip and Satisfaction...

2009-02-04T13:44:00.000-08:00

I, and another teacher, took 25 kids to the governor's mansion in Madison yesterday. They showed up by 7:30 when the school day starts at 8:35, wore cute little dressy outfits, and flitted over their hair and ties and if they looked nice enough. We drove on a bus, well I rode in a car next to the bus, for a little over an hour and we arrived at the gate leading into the mansion. We parked in front and the kids were escorted inside where the first lady was waiting to great us in an entry way with a chandelier and double staircase. The kids could not believe that this place even existed; their eyes were as big as their heads as they looked around the entry way amazed at its grandeur. Mrs. Doyle invited us in and asked if the kids had any questions. One girl simply asked if she could take pictures; it was if they wanted to capture every single moment of a place they could never dream of living. Then we were taken on a tour of the downstairs residence and ended in a huge living room where we shared themes, favorite passages, and insights into the two novels we had been reading.

While I was nervous how she would react to our kids and the way our kids would react to her, there was an immediate likeness between the kids and Mrs. Doyle. One girl read a passage from The Absolutely True Diary of a Part-Time Indian. This passage was about a dog, who happened to be the best friend of the main character in the story. The dog was very ill and the boys' parents could not afford to take the ailing dog to the vet. Eventually the dad shoots the dog to put it out of his misery. After reading the passage the girl broke down into teachers. She spoke about the cat that was her best friend. She said that her mom is so poor that she couldn't get help for the cat either. Everyone in that room, including Mrs. Doyle, was crying. The pain I felt for that little girl in the moment was so overwhelming. Mrs. Doyle gave the girl a huge hug and told the kids that this is how teachers feel about them, because a lot of times parents don't have insurance and so kids continue to feel sick.

There were lots of other very cute examples from this day, but that one was the best for me, because it showed the humanity of a poor high school girl from the innercity and the humanity of the governor's wife who lives in a mansion.

Governor's Mansion

2009-01-29T08:39:00.000-08:00

Sometimes you are rewarded for the hard work you do every day. Last week, I was told that myself and another teacher were invited to the governor's mansion, along with 25 students, to discuss the Book Club/Gear Up day we have on Wednesdays every week. The governor's wife will read to our kids, give them a tour of their house, and give them each a book to take home with them. While we are in Madison, we will also try to at least drive past some of the historic places there. The best part about this trip is that most of my students have never left the immediate vicinity of Milwaukee, so to meet the governor's wife is a huge deal. It will also be a great thing for our school. So often in the news, inner-city kids are described as gang bangers and miscreants, but these kids are truly working in their classes every day. I can't wait to see them all in their suits and dresses; I will definitely have a camera with me.

The World on His Shoulders...

2009-01-20T10:16:00.000-08:00

Forty-four Americans have now taken the presidential oath. The words have been spoken during rising tides of prosperity and the still waters of peace. Yet, every so often the oath is taken amidst gathering clouds and raging storms. At these moments, America has carried on not simply because of the skill or vision of those in high office, but because we the people have remained faithful to the ideals of our forebears, and true to our founding documents.

For everywhere we look, there is work to be done. The state of the economy calls for action, bold and swift, and we will act _ not only to create new jobs, but to lay a new foundation for growth. We will build the roads and bridges, the electric grids and digital lines that feed our commerce and bind us together. We will restore science to its rightful place, and wield technology's wonders to raise health care's quality and lower its cost. We will harness the sun and the winds and the soil to fuel our cars and run our factories. And we will transform our schools and colleges and universities to meet the demands of a new age. All this we can do. And all this we will do.

And so to all other peoples and governments who are watching today, from the grandest capitals to the small village where my father was born: know that America is a friend of each nation and every man, woman, and child who seeks a future of peace and dignity, and that we are ready to lead once more.

For we know that our patchwork heritage is a strength, not a weakness. We are a nation of Christians and Muslims, Jews and Hindus _ and non-believers. We are shaped by every language and culture, drawn from every end of this Earth; and because we have tasted the bitter swill of civil war and segregation, and emerged from that dark chapter stronger and more united, we cannot help but believe that the old hatreds shall someday pass; that the lines of tribe shall soon dissolve; that as the world grows smaller, our common humanity shall reveal itself; and that America must play its role in ushering in a new era of peace.

What is required of us now is a new era of responsibility _ a recognition, on the part of every American, that we have duties to ourselves, our nation, and the world, duties that we do not grudgingly accept but rather seize gladly, firm in the knowledge that there is nothing so satisfying to the spirit, so defining of our character, than giving our all to a difficult task.

Favorite Books...

2009-01-13T11:59:00.000-08:00

I've been keeping a list of my favorite books since I got a journal just for that purpose. So far this school year, I have read almost 17 books. I want to give a list of a few of my favorites...

1. Twilight series by Stephenie Meyers
2. The Absolutely True Story of a Part-Time Indian by Sherman Alexie
3. The Piano Tuner-Daniel Mason
4. I am the Messenger-Markus Zusak
5. My Heartbeat-Garret Freymanns-Weyr
6. The Brief Wondrous Life of Oscar Wao-Junot Diaz
7. The Alchemist-Paulo Coelho

Overweight, But Proud...

2009-01-12T09:28:00.000-08:00

I am overweight, I have been overweight since the age of three. I have always liked to eat, and I've always like to eat the foods that were not good for you. My mom blames herself for myself and my sisters hate of most fruits and vegetables, but I don't think it's her fault at all.

In the past year, however, my eyes have opened to the great variety of healthy foods that are out there. I eat oranges, pamellos, pomegranates, carrots, and many others. While I am still overweight, in the course of the past 4 or so years, I have managed to lose almost 55 pounds. Four years is a long time, and I could have lost hundreds of pounds in that process, but honestly, I like to eat, I like to have a few glasses of wine, and I like to go out and socialize with my friends.

I know that I will never be skinny, I know that I will never be a supermodel, but I will be happy and as healthy as I can be. Over the past year, I have gained muscle and become so much stronger. In addition, I can run 3 miles without wanting to die. I still have weight loss goals, I still have fitness and endurance goals, but I need to focus on what I have achieved thus far.

I will not give up. If I get frustrated or down, I will only let that happen for a short amount of time, and then I will get back to business. Life is amazing and I want to have every opportunity to enjoy as much as I can.

Viva La Causa...

2009-01-09T11:55:00.000-08:00

I am teaching a Latin Studies unit to my freshmen right now, and I belong to teachingtolerance.org which is a wonderful website/organization dedicated to teaching social justice in the classroom. I received curriculum and a DVD about Cesar Chavez this summer. We watched the documentary in class supported by the curriculum that comes with the DVD. It is amazing to me that people like Cesar Chavez really existed/exist in our world. In the movie, it is discussed how Chavez took his beliefs from both Gandhi and Martin Luther King, Jr. As we approach, Martin Luther King Day, it makes me think of all the good that can be done in the world with love, peace, and non-violence.

I know it sounds very hippie, but I truly believe that if we could just understand each other's differences and help each other out a little bit more, we wouldn't need all the unncessary violence and hate for others. I'm no Cesar Chavez, Mohandas Gandhi, or Martin Luther King, Jr. but I believe that change starts when someone raises a voice of hope. Even though I am sceptical about the future of our world, I still want to make it better somehow. Each of us has the capability to impact someone else, so why not do it now, and not for the benefit it gives you, but simply because it is the right thing to do?

Hard-Ass

2009-01-08T07:42:00.000-08:00

I've been dreading going to school every day this week. I started off really liking teaching freshmen, but it has just gone downhill from there. I cannot deal with their attitudes, specifically the girls attitudes. They are mean, and rude, and don't care what they say or who the offend. I decided this morning that I wasn't going to put up with the bullshit any more. I got a stack of referrels and explained just that, "If you complain, if you say my class is boring, if you say this sucks, if you talk when you are not supposed to, I am sending your ass out of class and you can have an extended weekend." I'm completely done trying to be nice to these kids, as the other night showed me, coddling does nothing.

I know these kids have hard home lives, but they also need to realize that life is not going to be easy for them. The real world does not care if you have emotional issues, it does not care if your mama left you when you were 5. I need to realize that I do them a disservice when I coddle them and do not have them meet expectations. When they leave this place, they are going to be in the world with all the people who have had high expectations all of their life.

Getting Back In It...

2009-01-07T09:46:00.000-08:00

It has officially taken me three days to come to the realization that I am back in school and need to get it together. I cancelled on my trainer yesterday morning because I was too tired, I wanted to sleep until noon today, and I hate going to bed at 10. However, this morning, I made the commitment to get back up at 5:15 and went to the gym. I have to say that it was a lot easier to start my day at school after running for a while. Although I don't like to admit it very much, I realize how important eating healthy and exercise has become to my personal self esteem and outlook on life. I guess I've finally figured out that having a healthy lifestyle is not just for losing weight.

Apathy Kills My Kids...

2009-01-06T09:24:00.000-08:00

I don't know why but both yesterday and today, I have really honed in on my students (and non-students) apathetic attitude towards life. I went to a freshmen girls high school basketball game last night, not a game from a city school, but at a small, private high school outside of the city. The contrast between the two teams was clearly apparent, all black versus all white, or inner-city versus suburban. I didn't really go to the game with the intention of watching the game so closely, but it wasn't just the basketball game that I found so depressing and intriguing, it was the clear differences between the two teams/coaches.

The private school girls had a crowd to watch them, they were polite helping the other team off the ground, listened to the criticisms of their coach and adapted, and continually pushed themselves to run, score, and play fairly. The coach of these girls was demanding, continually critiquing the girls' techniques even when they were up by more than double the other team.

On the other hand, the students from the city were unsportsmanlike, kicked over water at the end of the game because they were mad, faked being hurt, and layed down on the gym floor during time-outs. At the end of the game, they threw their cups of water all over the gym floor, if the coach had not said something, I totally would have. The coach of these girls continually hugged the girls, told them they were doing great, and refocused them continually. My heart went out to her as she was clearly embarrassed when one girl got her stuff during the middle of the game and walked out to the bus.

So, what is the difference? I know all of the usual answers, lack of parental support, bad teachers, a bad home environment, perpetual failure etc. But really, do we learn nothing throughout our 14 years of life that says it's okay to be disrespectful, rude, and apathetic? It kept me up all night and I'm still thinking about it now. Sometimes I wonder if all the passion, great curriculum, and resources would do anything to make the situation better.

Recap of Vacation...

2009-01-05T10:35:00.000-08:00

1 week in Cancun
New Year's like a rockstar (never again as long as I live)
24 hours straight sleep
A cold as a result of New Year's Eve
More days working out than not
Rededication to eating healthy
Happy thoughts about the past year
Looking forward to what this year has to offer

I'm Obsessed With Witches and Vampires...

2008-12-18T16:01:00.000-08:00

Okay, I am not your typical reader of all books. I hate science fiction, I hate the unbelievable, I hate things that can't be true. Recently, however, I have become obsessed with the Twilight series by Stephenie Meyers. If you are scared or hate vampire movies or books, I think you should still take a stab at reading this set of books. I am almost done with the third one, Eclipse, and I have one more to go. I am frightened to think what my happen once I am done with it. It's kind of along the lines of finishing the Harry Potter series. At any rate, I am stoked to finish the series and then go and see the movie.

While I'm in Cancun, I am also going to read The Boy in the Striped Pajamas so I can see that one as well. There are so many good books to read and so little time. If you haven't read the Twilight series though, please do me a favor and read them, they are so good it's ridiculous.

Happy Birthday and Workout

2008-12-16T13:46:00.001-08:00

HAPPY BIRTHDAY DOGGIE OF MY HEART. My puppy is officially 1 year old today. I'm going home and taking her for a fun-filled evening of playing in the freshly fallen snow!

In other news, I've found myself worrying constantly about the lack of enthusiasm I have for watching what I eat and exercising at least five times/week. With teaching night school and having no car, it makes it especially difficult to prepare three meals for the road. However, in a few short days, I will be basking in the 85 degree weather and so excited about life. I vow to exercise every day while I am there and to eat really yummy, healthy food most of the time. Last year, I really felt awesome when I came back and I am hoping for the same thing this year. Plus, with the possibility of a sister wedding in the future, I need to lose those pounds, so I can pridefully wear those awful gowns everyone loves so much. In the process, I think I will be much happier with who I am as a person as well.

In the past week...

2008-12-10T07:02:00.000-08:00

I haven't had time to write a blog, and I was trying to hold off in an attempt to make my friend continue to write her blog, but I have some time so I am going to write a few things that have happened in the past week.

1. Roughly 10 inches of snow have accumulated since the last time I wrote.

2. I cried so hard in my second block class that I could not continue teaching. It was the first time since I started teaching that students effected me to the point where I could not keep together.

3. I attended a very fun pot luck and pub crawl.

4. Taught night school.

5. Found a place for my doggie to stay while I am in Mexico

6. Did a walk the line activity (like in Freedom Writers) with my kids. It was one of the most powerful activities we've done. The situations the kids are in are unbelievable to me sometime.

Protest...

2008-12-02T11:02:00.000-08:00

I protest my friend stopping her blog. MM if you don't write anymore I may cry. You are like my little novela of goodness every day. You must continue your inner-divulgence or I will quit too. Screw anyone who sucks...maybe you should just eliminate the comments portion of your blog, except for me of course. Why do you scare me into thinking that this may be the end? Your number one fan wants more please.

Getting Older...

2008-12-01T11:36:00.001-08:00

Each year, I find myself being more and more surprised that time has gone so quickly. I know that age is the biggest factor out of all possible, but it seems to me that sometimes I let life just slip by without taking advantage of any moment. I'm 28 years old and there is so much I want to accomplish in my life, but why am I waiting? I want to work at a Habitat for Humanity site, I want to watch a Milwaukee sunrise, I want to go sledding as an adult. I haven't done any of these things yet, but what am waiting for? I need to live life and not wait for tomorrow because tomorrow comes and goes way to quickly.

Untraditional Thanksgiving

2008-11-24T08:57:00.001-08:00

This year, I will be working in a soup kitchen on Thanksgiving. I have always wanted to do this, but finally have the nerve to give up my gorging on food to do it. Instead of the typical Turkey Day dinner, I will be serving food to those who truly deserve it, those who have run into some difficult situations, those who need love way more than I do. I am going to make a mini-turkey on Friday and my girl and I are going to celebrate our day then, that way we can have a great day, she can see her family, and I can do something worthwhile with my time.

Laptop Heaven...

2008-11-20T07:35:00.000-08:00

So as I've stated in a previous blog, I have really been trying to teach better. As a result, I decided to have my freshmen do a project on a Latin American country to both do some research and present their information through a gallery walk. I was able to get laptops for my classroom, and it is the most amazing sight I have ever seen in my classroom. They are all working, they are all writing down important information, and they are all finding great information about their countries. It is days like today that make me feel that I might actually be a real teacher. These freshmen are smart and they have goals. They might have attitudes, they might have bad family situations, but they also have a drive that I have never seen in any other classes that I have taught. I'm excited and can't wait to see what they do .

More Flowers...

2008-11-19T11:45:00.000-08:00

I look like someone in my family has died and I am at a funeral home. The flowers from my family members keep rolling in and the students are baffled by what could possibly have caused the onslaught of various types of flower arrangements. One student said, "Damn Miss, who are you dating?" It's kind of fun to keep them guessing. I feel very appreciated, it makes me realize again how awesome my family is.

Also, the principal came into my room, with our School Improvement Facilitator, and talked about how nice my room is. She wanted to Superintendent to stop by my room on his school visit today. Even though he didn't come in, it was a nice thing to know that she liked my room and my teaching enough to feel confident in having him stop by. I like when days are really good, they make me see that life without a thesis can make life so much less stressful.

Diversity Tree...

2008-11-18T13:51:00.000-08:00

I'm excited about something I came up with for student council. We are going to have a Diversity Tree (instead of a Christmas tree) where each family advocacy group will add an ornament for display on the tree. It is going to be located right behind the front desk so everyone will be able to see it. We are such a diverse school and what better way than to showcase it in a really fun manner. It's fun to be able to be creative now that I have the time to think through other things besides my thesis.

Flowers and So Much More...

2008-11-17T13:04:00.000-08:00

It's amazing how wonderful friends and family can be. I have to say I probably have the best of both worlds with the people I have in my life. My weekend was filled with great times, supportive prayers and phone calls, and an overwhelming sense of meaning something to many people. This was all topped off today when I got a beautiful bouquet of flowers delivered to my school from my sister and her boyfriend, my brother really. I have a hard time describing how much I appreciate each of those people for making my weekend that much more special. I'm forever grateful for your continual support and friendship, I love each of you to the moon an back.

I think, however, it's also time to say thanks to my best friend of nine years who will be moving on in her relationship and in so doing moving out as well. We have been together through many tough times, some so hard and painful that we wouldn't dare talk about them with anyone else. We've become family, sisters really, and while I'm so excited for all of her accomplishments and for finding someone that she truly loves, I can't help but be sad that things will be different. Spending more time than usual with her this weekend, I realized how much I miss the time we don't spend together any more. I know that it will take effort to be friends now, I know that I will see her get married and have kids, and I realize that none of those things would have happened with us living together, but I never thought I would feel like I do either.

So, time goes on, things change, but I must always remember that I have her no matter what and she has me. And even this weekend, when I was so excited for myself, I felt more excited for her. It seems very fitting that we would finish this last really hard thing together before we both move in separate, but positive directions.

Weird...

2008-11-13T13:57:00.000-08:00

It is 3:57 and I have no paper or no powerpoint to create. What does one do with all of the time now after devoting so much to such a tedious task for the past three years? I am hoping to get a night school position. I honestly don't think I can just go home after school every day. I need the money, my loans have started again. I need to keep busy or I'll drive myself, my dogs, and my friends crazy. But wow, it is such a weird feeling. I don't feel like I really want to celebrate, but like my girl said, just wait until it's done. You're going to want to drink. I secretly think that she might be very right.

Teaching...

2008-11-12T08:11:00.000-08:00

I feel like I am really learning how to be a good teacher. I know, I know, it has only taken you six years to figure things out? I'm not going to say that I know everything there is to know, but I at least know how to approach my students and help them learn. With all of the school visits we have had lately, it makes me more aware of the way I am teaching. At first, I hated being interrupted, but then I realized that I was slacking with my teaching and in so doing, not giving my students the opportunities they need. Having these people come in makes me stay on my heals and really create lessons that are jammed packed. Lately, I have been really happy with the discussions that have been going on in the classes, and while some kids do nothing homework related, they are on some level learning if they can actively participate and discuss. My favorite part of our days is discussing the silent reading books, especially when we get new ones from the donors from donorschoose.org. Every single student reads and enjoys doing it.

And just to make things more interesting, my parents have decided to come and visit in a few weeks. For the first time, they will have the opportunity to see my kids and how awesome they are and what I do on a daily basis. While I am really nervous, I am excited that they have found it important enough to come up and see for themselves.

Finals revisited...

2008-11-06T06:42:00.001-08:00

It's been a while since I have written, mainly because I am sick of writing because of my thesis. I am going to try and get back into it again. So, here are two things I've noticed in the past few weeks.

1. How close to other words my students name are....for example I have one that sounds like Trailor Trash and another that sounds like Taco Bell.

2. The answers to finals questions never cease to amaze me...I had a word splash section on the test where they had to tell me everything they knew about the word....here are some of the responses:

Country: a different part of the word its not a city or state, people farmers cowboys, a small place where all kinds of people live, places around the earth, a country is like a city but not really one. U.S.A. gots cities but Africa has countrys (??), a place that lives in the state and has different religions, and my favorite...A continent divided into groups to help find citys and vote

Sometimes I get sad about the state of these kids life if they think voting is what country means.

The Sad Reality of My Job...

2008-10-24T09:35:00.000-07:00

Sometimes, I am completely overcome by the breath of our job as educators. I find myself day in and day out taking on so many roles to the kids I serve. My students often ask me if I am a parent. I always tell them that I have over 100 kids. Most days I can handle the situations that arise, and I listen with an almost numb ear to the awful, gut-wrenching drama that happens in every single child's life.

Then, there are days like yesterday, when I just need to break down and cry because of the situations that are presented. As much as I want to protect these kids, love them with my whole being, and believe that they can be successful if they make it through high school, there are always circumstances in the way. Here's my story for this week....

On Monday, one of my freshmen girls said she felt sick. I ran after her to the bathroom to unlock it so she could puke. Now, repeat Tuesday and Wednesday. Yesterday, the same thing. I finally asked her in the bathroom if there was a possibility that she could be pregnant. She said yes. I said do you use condoms and birth control? She said no. I had to tell her that she needed to see the nurse for a pregnancy test. What the hell?

Why should we pretend that abstinence is the end-all, be-all. Clearly, our district had the 2nd highest pregnancy rate in the country. We need to be handing out birth control at the door. When has it ever been okay that a 14 year old is having sex? It is disheartening and sad and it breaks my heart.

Music on My Mind...

2008-10-22T12:44:00.000-07:00

Lately, I have found my passion and what keeps me sane is listening to good music. So, today instead of complaining about my day or boring you with stories about my life, I am going to give you a list of my top bands/artists that I love. They encapsulate at any one given time what I might be feeling, and trust me as of late the gammet has been large!

1. James

2. Amos Lee

3. Jason Mraz

4. Keane

5. Chris Botti

6. Coldplay

7. Louis Armstrong ( gotta get down with some good New Orleans jazz)

8. Brett Dennen

9. Modest Mouse

10. Ray Lamontagne

Absence...

2008-10-15T14:03:00.000-07:00

So I know that I would love a day off, but with my students the way they are this year, it is definitely not something that I would do without just cause. Tomorrow, I have to go to an all day meeting about the mandatory curriculum I am teaching the 9th graders. In addition to discussing how awesome the curriculum is, the creater of this curriculum is going to force us to touch each other, break into pairs, stand on our ears, and do other nonsense things.

It wouldn't be so bad if the curriculum didn't need to be supplemented with something every single day that I teach it, and that is no exaggeration. I want to use the 8 hours to berate everything about it. Kids learn no grammar, no writing, or no literature while using this curriculum, so I supplement. Yesterday, the pea-head creater along with 5 other people came into my classroom, and I was teaching a Step Up to Writing activity, I refused to change gears simply because they were in the room. If anyone in this district wants to fight me on the fact that freshmen need basic writing help, bring it on because I'm ready.

In addition, I am more nervous about having a sub in my room than anything else all year. The kids become beasts. I have warned and begged them to be on their best behavior, but for whatever reason they become devils when a sub is in the room. Let's all pray that room 233 doesn't go up in flames during the day tomorrow or that I don't get sent to jail for shooting the pea-head for his ridiculous curriculum.

Thesis...

2008-10-14T14:39:00.000-07:00

I have submitted my fifth and final chapter of my thesis to my advisor. I may explode with excitement. I'm 57 pages and counting into it and that does not include the 4 pages of references, appendices, or extras that need to be added, but the main paper is done. Thank You Jesus!!!

What Not To Wear Goes Inner City...

2008-10-13T11:17:00.000-07:00

As you know, Saturday was the Homecoming dance. The kids were fairly well-behaved except for the few oral sex dance moves that I had to break up...yucky! The fashions for the dance, however, were both bizarre and vulgar. So, in the spirit of good fun, I will compose a list of the top-five fashion no-no's that were both blatantly and proudly worn on Saturday night.

5. 50 year old woman suit...pencil skirt (not fashionable) black shirt tucked in so just her boobies feel over the top of the skirt and mid-calf black boots

4. Pajamas

3. Mini dress that had to be held onto so that private parts wouldn't be revealed.

2. Cat woman--She had a striped shirt and short skirt with striped tights, and again mid-calf black boots, cat ears and fangs.

1. Tight, purple striped shirt worn as a dress with lace leggings (purple and black). The shirt did not cover her ass and so she liked like stripper. She had shiny silver mid-calf boats as well.

What's with the mid-calf boots? Am I missing something?

1 Day Till Homecoming Dance...

2008-10-10T14:43:00.000-07:00

How do you combat interruptions, sell almost 120 dance tickets, and over 500 dollars of spirit wear in one day? You remain calm and pop in a movie that the kids love. I was the world's most spirited supplier of all things Homecoming today. I remained calm, relatively speaking, and just gave up on an normalcy for the day. I have to admit that was exactly the way to go.

We had our first pep rally in three years and it was in the football stadium. It was so great and everyone had an awesome time and behaved themselves. It was so fun to have cheerleaders for the first time since I have been teaching and the drumline sounded fantastic. We also managed to find music for the school song and we are going to learn all the words. We even had the wave going for quite some time with the help of some of the staff members. Even though school is hard a lot of the time, today was a day to see that are kids can act respectably while at the same time having fun.

So, at last count, I will have about 190 kids at the dance tomorrow night, but my S.C. co-advisor is going to sell tickets at the game tonight. As for me, I am going out for margaritas! Happy Weekend.

2 Days Until Homecoming...

2008-10-09T15:22:00.000-07:00

1. Why do I receive all of the stupid phone questions? For example, "Can my child wear her gelly bracelets to the dance?"

2. How many times do students need to be reminded that they actually need to buy a ticket if they're going to the dance?

3. I was called 23 times throughout the day for various important questions like that of #1.

4. Can I have a personal secretary who sells tickets, t-shirts, senior shirts, sweatshirts, and answers all questions?

5. Does administration realize that allowing guests to come 3 days before Homecoming increases my stress level by 1000?

6. I hope the kids have fun.

Inspiration...

2008-10-07T13:44:00.000-07:00

I need some divine intervention to keep plugging along with this thesis. I only have one chapter to revise and one chapter left to write and then I'm done. The problem is I'm losing motivation and the will to continue working. This is mainly due to the fact that I sit at my computer waiting to be inspired with the right words to say or the smartest phrase to use. I'm staying for an hour after school today to hopefully get the one chapter revised. If I can do that I'll be really happy with the place that I'm in. I need to make myself a little sign that says MAJOR PAY INCREASE IF COMPLETED...in fact I think I'll do that now before I do anything else. I used to think that I wanted to get my doctorate, but I think if that is ever going to be happening, it is going to be a long time from now.

Leaving...

2008-10-06T13:55:00.000-07:00

It's 3:55. It's Homecoming week. I have a thesis due in two weeks. I have a ton of work I could be doing. However, I'm leaving school and going to enjoy a beautiful afternoon, and I don't feel bad about it.

What My Life's Been Reduced To...

2008-10-03T15:05:00.000-07:00

It's 5:30 on Friday evening and where am I? Oh yeah, that's right, I'm at my desk at school planning for next week and working on my thesis. My friends think I'm non-existent, my dogs don't know who I am, and my significant other and I see each other for 2 minutes before the lights are shut off at night. Each week, I hope upon hope, that the next will allow me free time to do something fun like meeting my friends for a drink or seeing a movie, but that hasn't happened yet and it's starting to take a toll. I feel like I can't do things fast enough and by the time 10pm rolls around I'm ready for sleep until I repeat everything all over starting at 5:20am.

I want to see my friends and spend time with them, I want to see my dogs and not hate them because they are just one more thing I need to take care of, and I want to spend quality time with the person I love most in this world. Today, though, as I look to next week, I have no hope in my mind that it will be a easy week because Homecoming week and all that that brings with it is the 6th-11th. Among all of the other things I have to do, finishing my thesis is at the top of the list.

The hope I see in sight is going to San Francisco at the end of the month. While I am there, no work will be done and I can just relax and enjoy life. So my dear best friends, can you hold on until November when things will calm down, and I can be an okay friend again? Doggies can you be okay with being stuck in the house the majority of the time? Boo can you live with my nervous stress and still love me? As long as the answer to these three questions is yes, it's all worth it.

Project Backfire...

2008-10-01T13:23:00.000-07:00

Once a week on Wednesdays, every teacher meets with about 15 students who are considered "their" students. I have a whole new group this year because the Small Learning Community that I was in changed, so my kids changed too. Most of the students in my group cannot speak English so I need to be creative when we do projects together. A few weeks ago, I thought of the idea to cut out pictures/words from magazines and newspapers depicting who they are and what they stand for. One of the students, who had not been here during the previous time, slept for much of the hour. I tried to coax him into starting the project, and he eventually complied.

I collected all of the projects and looked at them only after the students had left the classroom. The one sleepy student's collage was scary. It had a chain saw, guns, and article headline that read, "Finnish man kills 10 and himself." At the bottom were two other phrases that he wrote himself. Today, of all days, I did not have a special education teacher in my classroom and my prep is the last hour of the day, so I had to hold onto that disgusting, creepy piece of paper until lunch when my friend took it to the social worker for me. From there, it went to the school psychologist, one of the assistant principals, and the SRO police officers in our building. I was called to the office, asked a million questions, and all of my information was taken.

My only hope is that this child gets whatever it is he needs and that he is stopped before anything crazy happens. As I reflect now, it also makes me a little nervous to know that I was the one who started all of this, and he knows it.

Blood Drive...

2008-09-30T14:02:00.000-07:00

It's really cool to see students want to participate in a community service event like the blood drive I sponsored at school today. It's always awesome to see the good kids volunteer, but it's just amazing to me the number of kids that get into trouble a lot coming down to donate. It makes me realize that even though these students may be naughty at times, they still have really good hearts and are willing to help others in need. We spend so much time criticizing their negative behavior, but today I give so much love to all the students who gave a piece of themselves for a great cause.

New Books...

2008-09-25T15:01:00.000-07:00

I received almost 30 new books today to add to my silent reading shelves. These books were donated by family and strangers alike so that my students might have the opportunity to read good quality literature from a variety of genres and perspectives. It was so exciting to show my students' the books. They love to read and were actually fighting over who could read which book. I truly believe that reading is the link that these students need to continue being successful. Literacy is such an important concept in our world, and I'm glad that I can expose them to books they might never read on their own due to financial circumstances or from a belief that they cannot read well.

I give so much thanks to the donors from the website donorchoose.org because they have repeatedly come through for me when I've needed books for my classroom. I really believe that the over 200 books I have gotten in the past year have enhanced my teaching tremendously. Because I was so inspired by the enthusiasm of the kids, I wrote another proposal on their website; hopefully this one will be fulfilled too. I love seeing the looks on the students's faces when they realize a complete stranger cares enough about them to donate money, it's a pretty cool idea!

My Puppy...

2008-09-24T10:56:00.000-07:00

There is no doubt that the start to the school year has been a stressful one. I have been trying to complete everything to the best of my ability and not be to crabby about anything, but sometimes it is hard to have a positive outlook. As most of you know, I have been trying to lose weight and exercise more, more out of necessity than of anything else. Since I have started school and working on my thesis more in-depth, however, exercise has really become a release for me. This morning, I left the house at five to 6 to run. I take my puppy with me so that she gets exercise before I leave for school. Lately, when we get down by the lake, I have been letting her run through a grassy area so she can sprint and have fun.

Today, we went farther on a path because I wanted to see the sunrise, which was amazingly beautiful. The path was pretty secluded because it was so early. I decided to trust her and let her go again. She rolled around in the sand, chased ducks and geese in the water, chased rabbits and squirrels through the wooded areas, and came back to check that I was still around. While I've had a lot of problems with her being naughty, this morning really cemented my love for her. She was so cute, and in that moment I was so happy. That one moment has been carrying me through the rest of my day.

Immaturity...

2008-09-23T09:51:00.000-07:00

It's amazing the things that freshmen do and say. I don't know how many times I repeat myself with every direction I give. I feel that making a recording of myself may be the best option because I may scream if I'm asked if one more thing needs to be turned into the basket, what we're supposed to doing, or if they can use the bathroom. Also, the touching, "He touched me, She threw paper at me, Se looked at me wrong"...dear God I don't care...grow up! It is like I'm dealing with four year olds. Maybe we need nap time, then at least they will shut up.

Booty and Granola...

2008-09-19T15:29:00.000-07:00

My first hour class was the one class I thought I was going to have perpetual problems that included large attitudes, laziness, and hate for the teacher. Contrary to this belief, however, I am really starting to love that class. They do have attitudes, obviously they are hormone ridden adolescents, but for the most part they are cute and well-behaved. As a side note, all of you know my continuing quest to be physically fit, and this has taken me to having my personal training at 6 am Tuesdays and Thursdays. Yesterday was pure hell and my ass is so sore today that I can't even sit down on the toilet.

So, when I walked into class and couldn't sit down at my desk, one student asked, "Miss why it look like your booty sore." Well, my darling, it is sore. The same girl, 10 minutes later asked, "Ewhhhhh miss what are you eating?" I explained that it was yogurt and granola and no one had any idea what granola was. As a result, I feel the need to share the wealth of the wonderful taste of granola with me students. These were two little instances of cuteness, but we will take what we can get from these young ones.

In other news, I had one of my favorite students of all time come and visit me today. He graduated 3 years ago and attends a four-year University. He is a wonderful kid with lots of potential; I truly believe anything he wants to do, he can and will. Well, him, his friend, another teacher and myself were talking, he preceded to tell the other teacher that he wanted to be an English teacher. He had told me earlier that he wanted to be a teacher because he wanted to help kids like I helped him. Amazing.

Observations...

2008-09-18T11:00:00.000-07:00

Sometimes I feel like I am not a very good teacher because I don't relate well to my students. There are days like today, however, when another teacher teaches my class, and I see that I do have the students respect enough to get through the work that we need to do. If you are rude and shout at students, they will respond in the same way back to you, conversely if you are calm yet assertive, they will respond as well.

I also learned that I am not good at passing the reigns over to someone else to teach my class. There were so many times that I wanted to stop her and say, "You're doing this totally wrong" or "You're not explaining it clearly enough." The worst part of the teaching that went on today is that she thought it was great. I was more stressed watching her teach than I ever am when I am teaching myself. It was loud, the kids were unruly, and she point blank told me that she didn't want me stepping in.

I may not know my content as well as other people do, but I have a relationship with my kids and that counts for a lot of getting through to them. It was as painful for them as it was for me. Additionally, this other teacher wants to teach my class twice a week. I think I am going to have a polite conversation with her about that.

Breakdown of Meeting Group...

2008-09-17T13:57:00.000-07:00

Every Tuesday and Thursday I have now been assigned to attend Common Planning meetings. It is thought that my time is much better used in these meetings than in doing Student Council planning. We sit for 90 minutes and discuss the same issues at every meeting and people end up getting loud and complain unendingly. Here's a breakdown on some of the 12 people in these meetings.

1 Bulgarian, 1 Columian, 1 Puerto Rican, 1 Geo Metro collector, 1 want-to-be politician, 1 pregnant know-it-all, 1 cane using, wrist guarding crazy (who needs neither of the accessories), 1 older complaining gay man, 1 woman who eats Honey buns consistently, 1 out in lala land administrator and me.

Scared To Death...

2008-09-16T12:02:00.000-07:00

This year, more than any other, I have a large group of students who have just come to this country. Of course, there are the ones from Mexico and Puerto Rico, but I also have a student from Somalia, Afghanistan, and a country I haven't quite figured out yet because I can't get past him repeating his name over and over again, which I keep hearing as Kubla Khan. My family advocacy group, this is a once a week meeting of students who are mine to take care of and answer any questions, was comprised of 2/7 people who spoke English. I had some activities planned, but none of us could understand each other so we just smiled politely for the 45 minute period.

I have this class again tomorrow morning and again I don't know what we are going to do. In addition, most of these students have looks of horror on their faces as they walk around the hallways and enter the classrooms. I can't imagine what it would be like to come into a school like this with where they have been. I most certainly encourage diversity, but I don't want them to be scared to death either. If nothing else, I hope that I can somehow connect with these students to make their time at school here better.

Testing...

2008-09-15T12:23:00.001-07:00

All 9th graders have to take a district mandated benchmark test in the next few weeks. It covers basic grammar, reading, and language concepts. The test has no time limit, must be taken by every student, and is extremely long, boring and tedious. Oh, did I mention that this same test is given again in November, January, and April? The same exact test is given four times to measure student increase in learning. How about I sckew some data so that my performance as a teacher is measured better? I can time my students, have them fill in bubbles, and continue on with my curriculum, then with each progressive test, I will convert the learning environment to make my scores look better. It is just ridiculous to think that most teachers would have to alter testing conditions so that their jobs are not on the line, when data is given back to the principals of the schools involved with the testing. What does the district think is rational or accurate about any of the data it is receiving?

Take Down and Pin...

2008-09-12T15:09:00.000-07:00

1. Good Friend's Classroom:
Topic=Musicians
* Idea=Rapper
Elaboration= Lil' Wayne

Girl 1: I love Lil' Wayne
Girl 2: Laughs to herself
Girl 1: Do you think it's funny that Lil' Wayne is my baby daddy
Girl 2: Yeah
Girl 1: Launches into punches
Girl 2: Launches back

What is wrong with this scenario you ask? Well, first he could be your father. Secondly, neither of these girls mentioned marriage, girl 1 just wanted to have sex and babies. Finally, is that really worth fighting over?

2. Hallway Outside My Room During Lunch:
We are silent reading with the door shut. Shouting, swearing, and banging of lockers ensues. I tell my students that if one person moves from their desks, they will basically all die. Go out to assess situation. Call main office for Code Blue. Phone Rings 10 times before pick up. Run to stop Girl 1 from attacking Girl 2 (different freshmen than above). She is kicking and scratching. It is necessary to take her to the ground with the assistance of another teacher.

What is wrong with both of these scenarios you ask? You have known each other for a total of 10 days and you already hate each other that much? I just don't get it.

Ironic...

2008-09-10T10:59:00.000-07:00

I am extremely impressed with the work ethic of my freshmen. They may be loud, they may need things repeated forty seven times, but in the end they do all their work with care and thoughtfulness. It is with this idea that I am regretful to say I am teaching a curriculum which neither challenges or engages them fully. Any other year, with any other grade level, I could have had free reign to increase the learning going on, but with the 9th grade curriculum I am stuck in a duldrum of reading strategies related to nothing that is applicable to their lives. Our first unit is on natural disasters, and neither I nor them are interested in the unit. I feel like we are doing these kids a great disservice when we cannot expose them to literature that will enhance their learning so they can be prepared for college.

Downward Dog Gone Wrong...

2008-09-09T10:34:00.000-07:00

I was excited, I was nervous, I was ready to become flexible and coordinated. I didn't want to miss the Packer game, but made the sacrifice willingly for a stress-relieving class. We raced home after our staff meeting, took the dogs for some quick fun, fed them, made lunches, and grabbed a morsel of food for ourselves. We left ontime, tired from our long day, but interested in learning more about something so unfamiliar to us. We had good directions and clearly knew where we were going. We got there, the sign said the name of our destination in bold letters.

Where are all of the people who want stress relief as much as we do? Why are there no lights on? Why are there desks in place of yoga mats? After 30 minutes of searching, we gave up on our quest for an inner calmness, only to be replaced by rage and outbursts of profanity. Needless to say, my first Yoga experience was nothing like I had hoped.

Downward Dog...

2008-09-08T10:32:00.000-07:00

In an attempt to improve my flexibility and coordiation, I am taking a basic Yoga class. I find this funny on many different levels, but most importantly, I have the coordination of a large ox. Example: during my last training session I fell off of the treadmill while it was moving and then went upstairs and tripped over a bar with weights that was on the floor. My trainer thought that I was kidding around with him; hasn't he figured out yet that his 90 year old grandmother is more coordinated and flexible than I am? At any rate, this evening should be an experience. Who knows maybe I'll have a life altering experience and want to go to a far off land to become one with myself. In the end, at least I am trying something different.

Attitudes...

2008-09-05T13:41:00.000-07:00

I've discovered over the past few days that I don't have patience for attitude. Freshmen are not the people to teach because they have more attitude than I have ever seen in my life. (I don't ever recall stepping up to any of my teachers in class, especially not as a freshmen.) I can handle seniors who think they're on top of the world, but these little dickheads are a bit much for my liking. I have told quite a few girls that they need to check their attitudes really quick, because they have another thing coming if they think they can act like they are princesses and rule the world in my class. I'm generally a pretty laid back teacher, but I will go military style if I need to. These prissy 9th grade girls are going to be doing squats and lunges for the entire hour, and then maybe their hair and bracelets won't be as important.

Me Against The World...

2008-09-04T16:52:00.000-07:00

Today I feel like I'm battling everyone I've ever met. It's one of those days when you want it to be over because it's been so long and everything has gone wrong, but despite that I'm still at school at 7:05pm. I'm hungry, discouraged, and pretty much want to give up on being pushed and screwed around for everyone else's advantage. I'm all of a sudden going to be a charity worker doing Student Council for nothing but my own time. Let's be real, I've never been paid a cent for my work, but I was at least able to have a duty 2 times per week to get some of the insurmountable jobs done. Well now, I have to sit through one and a half hour meetings where people bitch and complain that life is so tough because they have 2 special education kids in their classes. I'm not sure what to do at this point, I can be strong and say no to Student Council or I can kiss everyone's ass. What's at stake? My job security, the students hopes of having some fun activities throughout the year, my sanity, and my goal of staying calm, rational, and non-school centered. What does one do in this situation?

Early Mornings...

2008-09-03T18:59:00.000-07:00

I continue my quest for weight loss and healthy eating each and every day. With the start of the school year, I convinced my trainer that he wanted to work me out at 6 am two days a week. Two other days during the week, I am running by 6 as well, and one day I am going to try yoga to see if it helps my balance and flexibility issues. While I am headed in the right direction, I know that there are still many things I can do. I need at some point to really commit myself to counting calories, and while I have been eating in for the most part, the portion sizes are what kill me. So, I guess one of my biggest personal goals is to have some self control. I think I'm going to wait until the first week is over because all of these changes at once are a little bit on the difficult side with teaching 3 new classes. I have promised myself, though, that in the very near future I will dedicate myself to being a better eater too. To all of you out there who are in the same endless struggle as me, stay strong and don't give up.

First Day of School...

2008-09-02T11:39:00.000-07:00

All the needless worry and anxiety are over. I have met my kids, I like them, they seem fairly attentive, and I think it could be a great learning year for them. I always get so nervous about the first day, but then I am able to come in, do my thing, and feel like I never left. It's definitely different to teach 9th graders versus 12 graders. They are little, have squeeky voices, and seem to possess a lot of attitude...I'm okay with all of these things because I can have all of these situations from time to time myself. I like to build relationships with my students, and I think teaching 9th graders will be really fun because they seem to depend on you more. Also, I'm going to have fun with my Novels class too I think. I feel like it's going to be a good year.

Summer in Review...

2008-08-31T10:47:00.000-07:00

Summer is officially over and with it comes the anticipation of the leaves changing colors, warm, comfy clothes, football games, and my very favorite time of the year. This summer was a great one for me, even though money was tight towards the end, I would have to say that I really lived it up. That being said, here are a few of my favorite parts of the summer...

--Losing weight, gaining muscle, and most importantly regaining my self-confidence and self-worth.
--Rekindling a friendship that I screwed up..MM I heart you.
--Eating veggies from the farm and figuring out new recipes to eat them all up.
--Going to Lake Geneva, conquering a few fears while there, and running a long distance while looking at magnificent mansions
--Our daily ritual of working out, going to the coffee shop, Scrabble, doggie walks and swims, and overall happiness
--Barnacle Bud's with great friends for my b-day
--JAMAICA!!
--Returning to school to have people comment on my tan and my weight-loss.

So, now that summer is over, I am poised for the new school year. I have new goals and new dreams, but I'm still the same person. I'm looking forward to all this new season will be.

Back in Business...

2008-08-26T13:01:00.000-07:00

I've been away for a month, not because of anything specific, just haven't had the motivation to write at all. With the start of the school year approaching, however, I feel the need to really get back into chronicaling the ever interesting stories of my kids and the events that take place on a daily basis.

This year, I will not be teaching my favorite class, the seniors. This is very disappointing as I have worked on creating the curriculum for this class for the past five years. I love working with the older kids and now I won't have them. Instead, I will be teaching 9th graders which is going to force me to have the mentality of a middle school teacher, which is fine, it's just different.

I've decided not to let the little things effect me too much this year. I've already run into a few annoying things, but I am letting them pass. My two goals for the school year are to remain patient and to not let school consume my life. There are so many wonderful things to do outside of school, and I want to focus on those more this year.

So, to all of you teachers getting ready for the grind again...good luck.

Destruction...

2008-07-26T19:29:00.000-07:00

Innocently out to celebrate a long-time friend's daughter being born, we went to a party this afternoon. We had some cocktails, had some good food, and caught up on old times. We left early to spend a nice evening together, only to come home to utter destruction. Our puppy had escaped from her crate, which I did not latch in both places when leaving for the afternoon. When we walked in it looked like a house that had been robbed. There were newspapers, magazines, and a book shredded across the t.v. room, sugar and flour throughout the kitchen, various clothes items amongst those, and a pile of shit like nothing I've ever seen on top of our bosu ball. Needless to say the dog had a good time, while completely scaring our older, well-behaved, and calm dog and cat. I think it may be time to throw in the towel. Despite the classes we're taking to improve her behavior, she just seems to be getting worse, and I seem to be more and more fed up.

New Trainer..

2008-07-23T16:40:00.000-07:00

I'm not good at change, let's just lay it out there. I can handle new sheets on my bed, but that is about the only way change is okay with me. My personal trainer is moving to Omaha on Saturday. While I have had numerous complaints about her, in the end she has taken me a long way on a journey that has taken 28 years to start to undo. I have been overweight and unathletic for most of my life. I have eaten anything and everything that makes me happy. She, however, has given me the personal motivation and encouragement to keep going. She has told me time and time again that I can reach my goals, that I am athletic, and that I can do anything I put my mind to. She has pushed me to my limits and helped me surpass them and set new ones. She has simply changed my life. And while I don't like the change that is inevitable with having a new personal trainer, she was my first and only personal superhero. So here's to B...she has helped me become a stronger, healthier me. I love her and will miss her more than words could ever describe.

Mullets and P.S. I Love You

2008-07-21T21:15:00.000-07:00

I saw a family out and about today with four kids. The mullets that abounded in this one family were amazing, and quite frankly I wish I would have had my camera to capture their true beauty. The first child probably age 8 sported a tight curled, black mullet. The second oldest had a bright blond mullet that was both think and spiked. The third child had brown hair and his mullet was starting to grow, but hadn't reached its full potential. Finally, child number four, who was probably 3 years old, had red hair and no mullet. I wonder if there is a minimum age requirement on mullets? Aren't mullets the perfect hairstyle?

In other news, I watched P.S. I Love You with my two roommates. I cried the whole time, and we went through an entire box of kleenex. I loved this movie so much on so many levels for so many reasons. As much as her heart was broken, she was still able to find herself and move on, I think that is a huge lesson for everyone. Even in the littlest, not so serious situations, you can always depend on yourself to make it through, and you will always have wonderful people around you to help you through the bad times. If you haven't seen it, please do.

Heaven In A Glass...

2008-07-20T13:54:00.000-07:00

Ode to the Frappe

Delicious ice-cold chocolate
Laced with espresso and so much love
Topped with decadent whip cream
Constant source of weight gain
and maker of dreams come true
How do I avoid your taste in my mouth
One swallow of your immense flavor and
I'm taken to a better place
One without calories or exercise
Where milk and ice and cream and cocoa
Come together in a marriage of amazing proportions
Then reality sets in and I realize that
As I sit here drinking up your goodness
My nutritional dissolution is happening
Even so, I think that no drink has ever come as close to
The every bit of happiness you bring to me

Sam's Club

2008-07-16T15:43:00.000-07:00

I went to Sam's Club today against my better wishes. We entered the store and what did I see first? Big screen t.v.s...I want one so bad I can taste it. Then, we moved past the teeth whitening portable station, and my friend showed me Guitar Hero. Jesus Christ himself blessed me with this special gift. I sucked at first, but slowly learned how to use the guitar to my advantage. I was a rock star with bright green hair who did cheerleader kicks. I rocked out My Name is Jonas and When You Were Young. I lived in that moment, and I was a rock star if only for a few minutes. Finally, I was told that I needed to move onto the book section, and my great adventure came to an end. At any rate, I loved Guitar Hero and must get it.

The Year In Review...

2008-07-13T19:14:00.000-07:00

I haven't written in a while. I will get back to writing religiously, I've actually even kind of missed it.

Tomorrow is my 28th birthday. I am usually over the top, expect too much, and end up disappointed. This year, I am trying to go with the flow and just enjoy the day. The past year has brought many great times, and I look forward to many in the coming months, so why get so excited over one day? The past 12 months have had their ups and downs, but I can honestly say that I am on the way to being a healthy, happier me. I have been exercising consistently, while eating too much still, but I have balanced the two so I am no longer gaining weight at the very least. I feel like I am in a good place with my relationship and my friends and family. My dogs are awesome and I enjoy spending time with them. I'm excited to have time off, but need to dedicate myself now to my thesis and losing some more weight.

As my 27th year quickly winds down, I like to think that I lived life to its fullest this past year. I have loved and laughed and cried and done so many new and hard things. I have people whom I love and who love me back and I am content with where my life is going. So year 28 I welcome you with open arms and hope that you prove to be as fulfilling and challenging and rewarding as year 27.

The Week Summed Up...

2008-06-30T08:50:00.000-07:00

I haven't written in over a week. This is what happens when you finally get to enjoy summer and all of the benefits of not going to school. Here is a list of the things I have done since I last wrote.

1. Finished Professional Development-thank you Jesus Christ in heaven
2. Saw the symphony with the Gufs at the lakefront
3. Tried to go strawberry picking only to be turned around by awful flooding in Jefferson County
4. Shopped at Johnson Creek as a result of no strawberry picking
5. Personal trained 4 days and exercised 6/7 days
6. Renewed my 1800 calorie diet in hopes of feeling confident in a bathing suit for Jamaica
7. Got the scare of my life yesterday when my dad was in a bad car accident

On the list of things to do for this week:
1. Rascal Flatts tonight
2. 2 more days of personal training
3. Brett Dennen, Colbie Caillat, and John Mayer concert
4. Fourth of July with friends hopefully
5. Visiting dad for his 60th birthday
6. MOTIVATION FOR THESIS WRITING...help me.

Professional Development Day 2...

2008-06-23T12:23:00.000-07:00

I'm in hell. Enough said.

Floods...

2008-06-19T09:03:00.000-07:00

The flooding and continuous rains of the past few weeks have really made me think about a lot of things. I sometimes feel like you truly can't comprehend something until it is close to you. The first thing that comes to mind is compassion and sadness for all the farmers who have basically lost their livelihood. This hits close to home as I receive emails about the conditions on my farm where I get vegetables every week. My second thought is for all the people who have lost homes and special possessions and can do nothing to fix their situation. Finally, I think about the flooding that has ripped apart the lives of hundreds of thousands of people in New Orleans and the Gulf Coast. Can anyone deny the effects of global warming? We need to be responsible citizens soon or these kind of catastrophes will be regular occurences.

All I can say is my prayers are with all of the people who have suffered through these things and still keep going. I'm not sure if I was in the same situation that I would be as courageous and strong as you. Keep Fighting!

Proud Mama...

2008-06-15T06:26:00.001-07:00

My puppy is getting to be such a good girl. She doesn't bark as muchas she used to, sits on the couch and just chills, and has a fun time running with us when we go. The one thing that has been upsetting is that she has been deathly afraid of water. We have taken her numerous times to the lake, and she has refused to even get her feet wet. Additionally, if it has rained or in the morning when there is dew, she does not like to get her paws wet on the grass. I thought that getting a Lab meant a life happily swimming in the lake, but no such luck.

Then, yesterday, my sister and her boyfriend came to visit me. We went on a walk along my running route and when we got to the lake, I thought we should try to get the puppy to at least drink a little water. I told them both about Louise's fear of the water, and Dan nobly got in the water. He started throwing sticks just a little away from her and by the time she was done she was swiming almost 20 feet out. She had such a great time and didn't want to stop. In that moment, I was the proudest person alive. I think I felt like a parent does when a baby takes his/her first steps. I know it sounds ridiculous but it was a great feeling.

Favorite Words...

2008-06-13T11:53:00.000-07:00

These are my most favorite words/phases of the 2008 school year that I have said to my students repeatedly. One student wrote a reflection last week and simply wrote...WORD...I like it.

Word.

Word to your mother.

Peace out.

See you on the flip side.

Peace out homeslice.

Bored...

2008-06-12T08:15:00.001-07:00

I am bored out of my mind. I think in the next 3 days, I may be able to solve world hunger, have viable solutions to global warming, and end poverty. I truly believe that teaching the children helps me get through the day. It is at times like this, when I have to sit and grade and not talk to anyone that I realize I could never have a desk job. The past two days have seemed like weeks, and I can't imagine what Friday and Monday are going to be like without any children whatsoever. So, if you need your ironing taken care, of you have projects you need finished, or a letter written to a long lost friend, I am the woman for the job.

Standing Up...

2008-06-11T06:55:00.001-07:00

Yesterday our schedules for next year were in our mailboxes. I repeatedly asked all powers that be to be allowed to teach English 12 again. It is my passion; I love the kids, I love the content, I love exposing kids to injustice and intolerance. Well, I didn't get English 12, and there were a bunch of other things that caused me to basically decide that I needed to stand up for myself. I think it sucks that people who do a good job and don't complain are screwed because of people who are that way. I was told that I am a teacher that can control kids so I need to take 9th graders, I told them that I thought that sucked. I gave a logical solution to the problem, asked another teacher if that switch would be okay, and made it happen. The idiot in charge was left tongue-tied and didn't have any other option but to allow me to teach what I love. In the end, I don't care how many preps I have or what other classes I teach, I just wanted that one section and in the end I got it.

I just don't get why we can't make people happy instead of making them feel like garbage. I feel like asking all the staff to write one class that they would like to teach would lift morale, but instead they make the worst possible decisions without consulting anyone but themselves. One of my best friends at school is in her second year of teaching, in that time she has taught 9 different courses. I feel that if we were able to teach a course more than once, we could make the curriculum great and our kids might excel as well because they are being taught by people who both like what they are teaching and who know the content. It's not rocket science people.

When It Rains...

2008-06-09T10:59:00.000-07:00

As you may or may not have noticed, it has been raining, storming, deluging for quite a few days in a row. My friend and I decided a while back that we were going to see the Indigo Girls at Pridefest last night. Well, the forecast didn't look good yesterday morning, but we decided to go anyway. The first few hours were sunny and warm, but then the green sky and tornadic winds started to approach. My friend and I had discussed that we would make the most out of this concert, whatever the weather might be like, and we did. We bought ponchos, had lots of cocktails, got as close to the stage as possible, and danced our pants off. It stormed, there was heavy lightning, but that didn't matter because we were in the moment and with each other and it was fantastic. So, lesson learned...don't let the weather spoil your good time and always, always have a poncho with you.

Getting Paid...

2008-06-06T10:54:00.001-07:00

What did I get paid for doing today?

1. Eating brownies

2. Watching Million Dollar Baby

3. Watching The Great Debaters

4. Doing a crossword puzzle

5. Reading a really good book

6. Thinking about writing a final exam (did not do this)

7. Possible nap at lunch time

8. Watching Weeds during Prep

Oh The Places You'll Go...

2008-06-05T08:58:00.000-07:00

Every year, I get very emotional on the last day of having my seniors. This year's class was particularly hard to crack at the beginning, but I feel like I've grown close to them over the course of the past few months. Some students I have had for three years, and I've watched them grow from immature hoodlums to amazingly talented, respectful, and hard-working adults. As usual, I read my favorite book of all time to my kids, Oh The Places You'll Go, and I made it through almost all of it without breaking down. The last few pages, you know the ones, (You'll Succeed, 98 and 3/4 percent guaranteed), I started bawling. I was very embarrassed until one of my boys stood up and gave me a huge hug. What followed was probably one of the best things of my career, almost every student got out of their seat, formed a line, and hugged me. Many told me they loved me and that they learned a lot. What more could you ask for out of a profession than to be loved and to have taught someone something? It is something I will never forget.

Crazy Day...

2008-06-04T12:36:00.000-07:00

Here's how my crazy (but fun) day went today.

1. Phone call about acquiring a prom picture for a women from 1993...I was 13

2. Family advocate student, the crazy one throwing punches, tells colleague to f-off multiple times and still comes in for the rest of the hour.

3. Seniors wear caps and gowns.

4. Post-tests for thesis are administered

5. 12 pizzas arrive for seniors winning book reading contest

6. Personal trainer comes with boxing gear in tow.

7. I box for my kids.

8. She has kids try boxing.

9. Extra pizza so third hour gets some too.

10. My support teachers birthday so we sing and make her blow out candles.

11. After lunch, find a drawn picture of a boxer made by one of my student for me.

12. Going now to a 3 hour meeting where I will count 1200 ballots for student council elections.

13. Thinking about working out due to 3 pieces of pizza today.

My Shining Students...

2008-06-03T10:47:00.000-07:00

It was better than I could have ever dreamed. Almost all of the students were prepared, connected to the material and project, and stunned the teachers and staff who came to view their work. It was amazing to see regular and special ed. students alike teaching teachers new information and ideas. They were so professional and well-behaved and even the students who are normally naughty showed their mature, super-intelligent sides. While I was so nervous about what the day would bring, in the end I was almost brought to tears because of how proud I am of them. I wish the news stations would have been here today to see what our students can really do. They weren't being violent, they weren't demeaning/abusing public property, or selling drugs, they were teaching about injustice and intolerance and what we can do to make the world a better portrayal. It was one of those days, as a teacher, that you want to remember for the rest of your life.

The Day Before...

2008-06-02T11:15:00.001-07:00

Tomorrow is go-day for my seniors. They have read their books, studied intolerance in-depth, and compiled information about the country they are studying. The only thing left is to show their presentations to all of the people who are important to them. I am so nervous that I might puke at any moment. I have tried to remain calm, and I know how they do is outside of my control, but I want them to be successful. I want the teachers and staff members to be impressed by their work and their knowledge about injustice. This weekend has been one of sleepless nights, so I can't wait for tomorrow to finally come, but I want to bask in all of the potential that these students have when they really put their mind to it. I'll let you know how it goes tomorrow!

Bark, Bark, Bark...

2008-05-30T10:50:00.000-07:00

In all of my life, I have never heard such an annoying sound as the one my puppy makes continuously. It has gotten to the point of utter frustration and complete emotional breakdowns. School is difficult enough, but to wake up and go to bed with a dog continually, incessantly barking for no reason is enough to put me in the mental ward. To make matters worse, she again has had attack of the shitty witties, of which my very kind love has had to pick up on her lunch hour. I need Cesar A.S.A.P. because she is not far from being given up...she may be cute but she is a horrow when it comes to that awful shrieking noise that comes from her very small body. Please keep her in your prayers, because she may be dead by the time the weekend is over.

100th Post...

2008-05-29T07:07:00.001-07:00

Today marks my 100th post, and while this might not seem like a big deal, I think it is a very fun thing. I haven't gone back and read anything I have written and I probably won't for a long time to come. I feel excited because at the very least, when I am old and gray, I will have some memories about my profession, my students, and my feelings/emotions. Teaching is challenging, life is challenging, being healthy is challenging but I think what I've learned is if something isn't this way, is it really something worth doing? I like to think that all of these challenges are making me into a mature, responsible woman. I know that I have a long way to go, but I think I've at least started on the road that I want to be on. To those of you who have helped my through and along these challenges, you are loved.